Sometimes I get so frustrated with myself and the stupid things I do. I have been struggling a lot with religion. I have so many questions beneath the surface. I can't even begin to put into words. I want to be comfortable with the idea of a Savior, of Jesus being my all, being in a relationship with the Prince of Peace, but I don't know or, or rather, I'm afraid to trust with all I have in something, an idea that seems so fragile. I don't know; I want it, but I don't know how available it really is. They say there is no love higher, more powerful, more constant. As I sit here, the tears are slowly rolling down my face, I know I want that, a certain love that will be unconditional. I want a love so powerful it pushes me to be bigger than my circumstances, to take a step of faith into the unknown, I want that. But as I look at today's professing Christians, and I can't help but wonder, if like them, the glory of this love will fade in time, right?
How can I go for something that really isn't there? Do I have even enough faith?
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